That the Lord would take that out of my mind, remove it from my memories, not let me think of those things or recall those events anymore.
Every born-again believer has prayed that prayer in one form or another a thousand times and will continue to until the moment we are called home.
“For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.” (Isaiah 65:17)
Those prayers will be answered, but not in this life, not as long as you have some amount of cognitive mental functioning capabilities, you will remember those actions you now know as sin, you will recall deeds done, words said that injured others, you will recognize them as vile acts, as rebellious against Him whom you now serve.
They arrive at the most inopportune moments, when we are praying, studying the Scriptures, when praise is coming from our lips, we remember the evil we did.
“And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.” (Acts 24:16)
But that conscience is still muddied up, and in one regard, no matter how much we hate those memories, they serve a purpose. They remind us of the grace that saved us, they remind us of Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Each of us in our own right can say with Paul that we are the chief sinner, once we come to the realization of what that word grace actually means.
To think that sinful man, full of every vile imagination of sin can add anything to the cross of Christ for their salvation is ludicrous, that darkness can hold any profitableness towards light, that a work that we could do would not be defiled as a filthy rag is to not understand grace in any fashion. But there is something that can be nearly as great a hindrance, and that is the one who has been crucified with Christ, forgiven of every sin, past, present and future, who will not forgive themselves, who listens to and even at times seeks out those memories of great sin, and cannot see the love that called them, that holds them, that has forgiven them.
His hands did not get dirty or soiled when He picked you up my friends, His blood has covered every stain you ever had or will have.
“To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.” (Eph. 1:6)
I rarely offer my testimony to others, I was an evil man, and few can look past that man now dead and gone to the grace that saved me. I can, but that moment, and the life lived for Him since those days has not erased every memory, and my prayers for them to dissipate are heard, but not answered in the way I would like. Who I was, who you were, is not who you are today, because of His grace.
You will not have those memories in heaven I believe, but you will know when you see the Lord Jesus Christ, every time, why those scars are in His hands and feet.
Do not try to forget who you were before your sanctification process began, you need to remember what you were saved from, you need to remember how holiness came to you when you were in darkness, how His perfect white robe was not soiled in any way whatsoever when He came to the pit of filth you lived in, took your hand and said, “Follow me.”
Forgive yourself, do not forget, do not shuffle those memories off into the back corner of your mind, but when they appear and reappear, sometimes far too often, remember, that person is dead, and will never return.
Look forward to the day when the former things will never be brought to mind.
