Perhaps it is because I have been blessed to reach a certain age, an age no longer considered young, maybe it is because I have lived quite a varied life, one that many would desire but were not able to fulfill because of either obligations or fear, I like to believe, because it is true, that Almighty God has placed something inside of me that I never really even longed for, in either case, I would desire the same for you.
Our Lord has made Himself real to me, I know without a single doubt that my Redeemer lives, I know that where He is I will someday also be, and that knowledge has all but quenched every fear of death I have. I say almost, because my flesh has not caught up to my spirit yet, it most definitely does not want to cease its existence, it does not want to be changed, much less glorified. It likes it here, for the most part, the pain it could do without, the mind that constantly seeks for the next new thing it will not abate, but for the most part, it is definitely not in a hurry to die. Jesus knew full well what He was saying when He spoke the words, “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matt. 26:41) Paul understood when he said, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” (Romans 7:18) And how we are always at odds with the Holy Spirit. (Gal. 5:17) I know what they mean now, I desire nothing more than to go home, each and every day I awake looking forward to the sound of a trumpet. (1 Cor. 15:52)
I do what I am commanded to do, and more, for I love serving Him, but most days are best compared anymore to walking through thick molasses, living in a state of constant, patient anticipation. The world and all it has to offer hold little sway upon me, my one treasure on this earth is my lovely wife, her strength holds me together many days, few men have been blessed with a finer helpmeet. The burden of life becomes almost unbearable sometimes, and I do not need to view the world to assist me in that weight, the knowledge of its path, the intended fear, those who profess Him only with their lips, perhaps I should stop I think somedays, just stop caring, stop following, stop being obedient and just let the old man take over again. But then like Jeremiah, “Then I said, I will not make mention of Him, nor speak any more in His name. But His word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay.” (20:9) I find myself with a pen in my hand, I find myself caring again.
Honestly my friends, at times I really do not care, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Prov. 1:7) And fools, those who live their lives as if there is no God, deserve what they get, pain, suffering, trials, tribulations, and then an eternity burning in fire with complete and total hopelessness. But then I start caring again. I am fully aware that many people I speak with will die in their sins, that some who read these letters or watch the videos on YouTube will die in their sins, but that will not negate my actions of love for our Savior, He has asked me to do a task and that task I will do. Until He sets another path in front of each of us, He expects us to remain on that path, commandments have little use in the age of grace to those who do not love Him. I can command our very old four-legged furry friend to do something and at best he will just lift his head and look at me.
All of our actions are to be based not on the fact that we love Christ, but that He loves us, this is what many have forgotten, this is why many who call Him Lord are still afraid of dying, why they do not serve well, why they truly show no actions of love towards their neighbors or their enemies. Love is shown in actions, feelings of love are simply icing on the cake, they hold little value save for the one that is experiencing them.
I would ask you today to stop fearing, stop fearing the future, the unknown, even your own death, do not fear any longer. You are written in the palms of our Lord’s hands, (Isaiah 49:16) “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your future is secure if you are in His hands, start living today with that truth.
