Selfishness is the act of putting one’s desires and wants above others.
It is said that the majority of marriages fail, end in divorce for financial reasons, but I would disagree, for love does not depend on money. I believe they fail because of selfishness.
“She isn’t supplying my needs!” Selfishness.
“He’s always thinking about himself!”
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Gal. 2:20)
Strong marriages depend on each other, they meet together in common ground, yet it is the husband, the man of God, that makes the final decisions, and he alone is accountable if that marriage fails.
Being satisfied within a marriage is a personal choice, but both the husband and wife need to be in agreement on all major issues, the challenges are accepted, the minor things retain no selfish motives.
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” (Eph. 5:31)
The closest example in the Word of God of a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ in this world is the marriage between a godly woman and a man of God, and whether we want to recognize this truth or not, the world watches us, and when two such as this divorce, that same world rejoices.
Let me ask this question of you, when you pray, do you at times vent your frustrations out to your Father in heaven? Do you ask Him at times “why,” do you attempt to explain your side of the story to Him and try to make Him understand your emotions? Job did also.
“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” (Job 13:15)
Frustrations, anger, resentment, extended periods of silence that can be cut with a knife, that is a part of marriage, as well as a part of our relationship with the Almighty. And many times, my friends, it has its foundation in pride, in selfishness, in wanting what we want and caring little if our spouse likes it or not, and in all truth at times, whether God likes it or not.
How many of you just thought, “That’s sacrilegious!” Then I would submit that perhaps you have become, at least in this regard, efficient at lying to yourself.
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)
Do you at all times? No, you do not. Why not? You can say it, your Father in heaven already knows why, because at times we are selfish.
If you were to offer complete and total submission to your spouse in all things, you would not have a very good marriage, because he or she is not perfect. Contentions will arise, emotions will flare up, but “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” (1st Peter 4:8)
I do not particularly care for everything the Lord asks me to do, it goes sometimes against my selfish nature, I grumble and moan at times, and I question His will. But I never stop loving Him.
Circumstances have very little to do with our personal relationship with our Father in heaven, money, pain, sickness, frustrations, trials and tribulations do not alter our love for Him. So why should they in your marriage?
Consider this, the Lord brings Eve to her husband Adam, He informs him that she is, in many respects, the exact opposite of him, and He tells him to love her.
“Okay, but I’m going to need some serious help here.”
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18)
Talk to each other, work it out, speak your mind, be angry but sin not, hold fast to the bond of love that sometimes wanes and sometimes grows over time, love each other no matter the circumstances.
Now, what am I speaking of in that sentence, your marriage or your relationship to the Lord?
