“And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;” (Gen. 3:17)
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” (Heb. 13:4)
I would ask you to envision something here for a few moments, three buildings on a street. On the left is a place where marriages are performed, nothing fancy, just the quick vows repeated that legally bind a man and woman in marriage. To the far right there is a building that a couple can walk into, and in just a matter of minutes their marriage can be dissolved, they will no longer be legally connected in marriage when they walk out of that building.
In between these two buildings there is a hotel.
I ask you this question, if a man and woman meet on the street one day, and find a mutual desire to have sex with each other, if they start on the building on the left, get married, go to the hotel and fulfill their sexual lust for a few hours, and then go immediately to the building of divorces on the right, parting ways and never seeing each other again, was that marriage honored by the Lord?
I would presuppose that every born-again believer understands that sex outside of marriage is a sin, in fact we are even aware of the truth of Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” But I ask you, in the far too long opening in this poorly written letter to you today, did those two people sin in the eyes of the Lord, or did they fulfill the requirements according to the Scriptures?
Some of you perhaps may reply that there was no love involved in that interaction, that the lust of the flesh was the only driving motivation, but I can find nowhere in the Scriptures that states that one must love someone before they are married, only after the vows have been exchanged. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Eph. 5:25)
I would contend that in the majority of cases it is first a physical attraction that draws us to another in this regard, and only time and properly placed questions can reveal to us whether or not one should begin to entertain the thought of marriage. Consideration of the scenario offered must also be contemplated, for those who are saved understand that they should not marry one who is not also saved, but that is beyond the point. The question stands, did those two commit a sin in the eyes of the Lord, and if so, why?
The legal action, even according to the Scriptures was performed, save for one point, “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matt. 19:8-9)
That couple had no grounds to walk over to the building on the far right. Notwithstanding this truth, and with the knowledge that sex outside of marriage is a sin, did they sin if they followed the legal precepts?
In the United States, the divorce rate for those who claim to be saved is as high as those who do not fear God, and there is a reason for this, husbands are not loving their wives, and wives are not honoring their husbands. They have not submitted in love to each other, but instead have sought for self-satisfaction, for gratification of their own desires instead of the well-being of the one they promised to love forever.
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mark 10:9)
That may be the only answer I can give you.
