Women desire love, both in an emotional context and in action-based deeds from their husbands, but it does little good to win the prize if no attempt is made to keep it. The man has been designed by the Lord as the Spiritual leader of the house, as long as he honors the Lord in all that he does, and seeks first the kingdom of God, this family will be blessed. The woman is to give respect, the man, love, these are the basic tenants of marriage set down by the Lord, all else is secondary, the employment responsibilities, the earned income, even the children are to be placed beneath those first two obligations, serve the Lord, serve each other.
Divorce rates grow each year, among both classes of individuals, the lost and the saved, because these commandments are not met, pride, selfishness, arrogancy step in and far too many do not kick them out of the house, we begin to want what we do not need, and what we believe is not being provided to us by our spouse. Most marriages are not destroyed by the act of adultery, but by the beginning onslaught of it, by the lack of the following of the will of God, by the lack of continuing emotional or deeds based actions, our attempts are always futile, it is the Lord that directs a man’s steps. (Prov. 16:9) “And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.” (Mark 10:44)
The analogy of the marriage between a man and woman is probably the closest that we can come to the relationship between ourselves and Christ, it is an ongoing attachment that expresses love for no other, the apple of your eye (Psalm 17:8) is to know no other. No man is ever fully going to understand the deep seated gift of God to a woman for love, in any context it is applied, though he read or write any book, it will always remain a mystery to him, for that is the will of God. For a woman to understand the need for conquest, for the absolute need for respect that a man understands quite easily is just as mysterious, it has been and always will be withheld from her.
A man of God can comprehend the desire of the Lord for obedience from Him, and it is easily given at most times because men will obey that which is worthy of honor, the One who has proven Himself faithful and honorable, it is how he expresses his love to the Lord, by obedience. The woman expresses her love to the Lord in respect, for He has proven to be her greatest security, He is strength beyond strength, and every emotion of love that can come from her pours out to Him.
My friends, we are never going to be alike, men will always differ from women, and women from men, no matter what all the interpreters of humankind’s thoughts attempt to persuade us to believe. We are not to attempt to just get along, not attempt to become like our spouse, we are to be Christlike. Many marriages stay together only because that is where their stuff is, because they fear to step away from the known, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” (prov. 25:24) And so instead of attempting to adhere to the precepts set down by God, instead of submitting, they live separate lives under the same roof.
There are only two ground rules that will ensure that the marriage stays intact, that two will become one, (Gen. 2:24) that those two who have dedicated their lives to the Lord will be able to accomplish more for Him together than they could separately, the woman must respect her husband, and the man must love his wife. Total and complete honesty in every area will lead to communication, which in turn will lead to the ability to become comfortable in the silence together. This is how our relationship to Christ is to be, the woman is to love the Lord in ways that only women can do, and men are to serve Him in honor as only men can understand. We are aware that He knows our every thought, it is our responsibility to voice those thoughts to Him, by always being honest with the Lord, we are being honest with ourselves, and the silence that ensues from the Lord will then be comforting to us.
It has been said that if you want to know the mind of the Lord, read the Scriptures, if you want to hear Him speaking to you, read them out loud. The comfortableness of any relationship is tested at its highest degree at times by the silence within it, when the knowledge of respect and love does not need to be exhibited with words, it is the true test of any relationship. When we first come to Christ, we need extreme guidance, for we know nothing of who He is, and even though we never will no matter the amount of effort we place toward that goal, we are expected at some point to learn to be comfortable in the silence, in the time between the parting of the Red Sea and the water flowing freely from the rock is where we truly learn to love and obey, the in-between times of His powerful works through us, this is where love learns to grow and trust. “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
