“O, what a wretch I am! I know I have been saved by grace through faith, I know I have been born-again, that I am hid in Christ, but I am such a vile sinner! My flesh continuously seeks power over me, the temptations of our adversary hound me daily! O, whatever am I to do?”
To do? Get up, quit your whining and get back to the business of serving your Master for His glory.
“I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” (Romans 7:25)
If there is one thing our Father in heaven takes no pleasure in, it is one of His chosen ones almost continuously grieving about sins forgiven, those who live in a nearly constant state of despair and will not accept the fact that they are beloved in His sight.
There is a big difference between realizing we are sinners saved by grace and the one who lives in a constant sorrow because of those sins forgiven, of those who prefer to see themselves as vile and wretched, and those who know they are the children of light.
“The just shall live by faith.” (Romans 1:17)
“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again:” (Prov. 24:16a)
These this short letter speaks of would rather see themselves as still fallen, they know they are forgiven, but they will not forgive themselves, and in all truthfulness my friends, what they want is to be pitied. Not one of us was ever worthy enough to be called and chosen by the Almighty, but these want to always experience that unworthiness, we all know we are dust, but these need to remain in the pit of shame, we know we are saints, but these want to cover themselves with the cloak of perpetual sinner.
“But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.” (Prov. 4:18)
Not these, a dark and gloomy atmosphere is what they keep about them, despondency is the emotion they prefer, by their own free will they will not experience the joy of the Lord, for if every thought is not kept captive for Christ, then they are abhorrent in their own eyes.
And while this may seem perplexing to us, to them it is a natural state, worthy, and that only barely, of the milk of the Word, too vile in their own eyes to even speak His name, the perpetual sinner in whom the light of Christ will never see daybreak.
“I will never be good enough.”
No, you won’t.
“I can never be useful to Him.”
No, you can’t, not if you never accept the fact that your sins have been forgiven, not if you do not forgive yourself, accept the truth that you are both sinner and saint, not if you do not stop whining in despair, get up, fight the flesh, that old sinful nature and the wiles of the devil by the power of the Holy Spirit who resides in you.
“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” (1st Cor. 16:13)
“Oh, I am such a terrible person!”
Yes, you are, all of us who are the righteousness of God in Christ are, so stop complaining about it, stop seeking for pity from others who already realize this truth, stop seeking for self-pity, get up and get to work.
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Phil. 4:13)
As soon as you understand you have been forgiven, as soon as you realize that sin has no more power over you, as soon as you come to the knowledge of the truth that sin has no more dominion over you, that your conscience is to be free of guilt. As soon as you can remember your sins of the past and not feel extreme guilt over them.
Until then, these will lay in the dust of self-pity, in a state of constant despair, and will continue to beg for mercy that has already been given.
Do not be this person.
“Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.” (1st Peter 2:24)
