I will ask this question of you through an example.
A pastor I know was speaking once to me not about the personal issues of those in his congregation, but just that they did confide in him with deeply personal issues in their life and asked that he would keep what they revealed to him private, just between them. I asked this pastor if he ever mentioned any of those items to his wife, and he said that he did not.
“Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.” (Luke 12:3)
I bring this up not only in the context of that verse, but also in these as well.
“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2)
“And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.” (Mark 10:8)
In the past when people have said to me, “Keep this just between you and me,” I have informed them that anything they say to me, if I believe it to be necessary or if she asks, I will reveal to my beautiful wife. So then, there is your question, and I ask it of those of you who are married and both in the marriage serve the Lord Jesus Christ, and the question is two-fold.
First, should there be any secrets kept between the two of you in relation to the subject matter?
These people are trusting you with something they fear others to know, should your trust in your spouse go beyond even that?
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” (Prov. 11:4)
I will bring this before you as well, that man of God, if he cannot come to an answer or be able to assist the person who has confided in him, reaches out to other pastors, other God-fearing men for assistance, but not to the one who is his help meet, who should be the one person on this planet that he can trust the most. What does that say about his marriage?
How can two be one when someone else’s desires are honored above those that you are to be one with? A question well worth pondering if you are a married couple whose sole desire is to lift up the name of the Almighty.
But I bring the second part of this topic to your attention now. If this assembly of believers truly meets to worship the Living God, to seek as a unit, as a whole, to honor Him in all they do, then why do they as individuals go to the pastor’s office, shut the door, and ask him not to reveal this burden they are carrying to anyone else?
Is there then truly trust and love, fellowship unfettered within that congregation, or is it only a facsimile of a true brotherhood of believers?
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” (James 5:16)
We confess our sins to the Lord, He is faithful and just to forgive us, but our faults we are to share with those we will spend eternity with.
The pastor, or perhaps a chosen elder, has become the confidant, the counselor, not the assembly. “What would others think of me if they knew this about me?”
I will tell you how I have tested others in my life over the years. I speak to them about something, nothing deeply personal, but when I do so, before I begin, I say to them, “Just between you and me.” And then I wait, and I listen over the coming days and weeks to hear if what I have spoken to them comes from the lips of another.
“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” (1st John 4:1)
I know who I can trust on this earth, and my lovely wife is at the top of that list. I have also found over the decades that there are very few who consider themselves born-again that care to help carry their brothers and sisters in Christ burdens.
And even fewer who profess to serve the Almighty who can get past, “What would people think of me if they knew this about me?”
