“For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.” (2nd Tim. 4:6)
The end of life here approaching, the beginning of eternal life approaching, this is death for the one crucified with Christ.
I believe Paul knew that his work was almost completed, I do not know if someone came to where he was held at and informed him of the date and time of his execution, it is possible, but the opening verse to this short letter to you sounds more like a man who simply knows that time is almost up. A feeling of being emptied out, the purposes fulfilled with no foreseeable ones in the future. Of a task completed.
Paul knew there were those chosen by the Lord to carry on the work, I do not think he gave Romans 11:3 any thought whatsoever. “Lord, they have killed thy prophets, and digged down thine altars; and I am left alone, and they seek my life.”
I believe the Lord blesses many of His servants in this manner, with the knowledge that they have run a good race, it may not have started out that way, but how we start is nothing in comparison to how we finish, or how we run once we have been called to do so.
As most do, when they see the door of death opening for them, they recall all those failures, all the times when our faith faltered, when we know we could have, should have done more. But mostly we look at wasted time, the time before we heard the call and answered.
I do not know how old Paul was that day on the road to Damascus, but I believe I can say that at times he was a very frustrated individual when he gave thought to the years before that day, as many of us have.
“I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” (Psalm 37:25)
Age has a way of making a man look back on his life, and the one who has been crucified with Christ is not different. How many times in Adam’s long life did he think, “I wish I wouldn’t have.” How many times in your life have you said not only the same thing to yourself, but added to it, “I wish I would have?”
The man being poured out has time to contemplate his life, and the first and foremost thoughts of his should not be discouragement in what he should or should not have done, but if he was profitable to His Lord.
The one who desires to see the Living God glorified is a willing servant, and the willing servant desires to serve, he does not do so out of obligation, but from a love for Him whom he serves. The one who is being poured out wants to know if he has been a profitable servant.
When Paul said he had run a good race and fought a good fight, there was no pride in his heart. When he said, “Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.” (2nd Tim. 4:8) It was not because he believed he deserved that crown, but because it is promised to those who look for His appearing.
Being poured out is a peaceful feeling, it is restful, it is calming, it is knowledge from the Lord that the tasks placed before you were completed as requested, it is the reassurance that your Master is pleased with you.
“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” (1st Cor. 15:55)
Gone, nowhere to be found.
How you will pass through that door is up to your heavenly Father, it may not come in your sleep, it may come with pain, or you may also be blessed with that feeling of being poured out. It matters not, the sting of death is not there for those who have already been crucified with Christ, who have already died to self.
Millions of our brothers and sisters have gone through that door before us my friends, filled with the knowledge of what awaits on the other side, perfect and eternal love. If you can get past the point of that fear, of that final door, you will understand fully 1st John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
