Impatience is what I would name it, with no disrespect or irreverence to Luke 21:19, “In your patience possess ye your souls.”
Perhaps it is just impatience of an advancing age, the body not being able to perform the task that it once could, and the mind beginning to accept that fact. It breeds impatience for the glorified body that awaits, one that will last in perfect fitness and frame of mind for all eternity, I am impatient for it.
Perhaps it is the recognition of what the Scriptures have always proclaimed as truth, that this world at the present time belongs to Satan, (2 Cor. 4:4) that it is covered in lies, that unrighteousness is the path of it, and that those who follow Jesus Christ as Lord are the minority, pressured each day to stand for righteousness, to stand against evil. We do not become weary in the work, but we are definitely impatient for this earth to be cleansed from sin, for the curse to be lifted. We have at least another thousand years for that, but our task will be in a way different then, an earth still cursed has no effect that I am aware of on those who inhabit glorified bodies, save perhaps in our response to those who will still rebel against the Lord Jesus during that time.
This would be the third instance of my impatience I suppose and the cause of a great deal of my own personal frustration, not only the lost who scoff at the name, and even idea, of the Most High, but those who profess Him only with their lips. “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.” (Romans 14:4) Many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have great difficulty accepting reproofs and correction, no matter the emotional state it is offered in, to them a man must have a framed piece of paper on his wall stating that he attended some form of seminary or schooling that qualifies him, after two to four years of intensive studies, to perform said reproofs. The common man who waits patiently on the Lord has no right to assist them, for to them it becomes not righteous judgement (John 7:24) but judgmental. I become impatient with them at times, they see it as contention, not an act of love.
With those in the world who are still as I was, an unsaved sinner, my patience has indeed worn thin at times, it is like watching lemmings follow each other over a cliff, they are like cattle, easily led around with no concern for anything but their own self-interests, and very little of anything else. What they are told to be concerned about they are concerned with, the possibility of a dismal future hangs constantly over their heads, yet they move through life as if they have a purpose. When I see my patience coming to an end with them, I employ, after all else has been tried, Matthew 7:6, “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
But my greatest impatience is to be with the Lord, to walk the halls and streets of His kingdom, to know without question that all I will meet are my eternal brothers and sisters, to hold the hand of my beautiful wife and watch her face as she sees sights of beauty at every turn. I am possessing my soul by being patient, in the way that the Lord intended us to understand that verse, staying still before Him, doing all I can to hear and properly interpret His will for my life, but I am impatient for that which is to come. It is best described as patient anticipation, and I highly recommend the practice of it.