The Light Bearer had been thinking a lot lately, much more than usual. Things were not quite the same as they were in the beginning, very subtle but noticeable shifting patterns within his mind were coming more into focus each passing day. It was as if something was trying to wake up inside of him, was trying to stretch out and become more flexible, better adapted for what was ahead. There was almost a feeling of newness, as if an alternate path lay ahead of him, but it was more in tune with what could best be called an awakening.
He was still continuing in his duties, but there were moments when he was starting to catch himself in the wondering word of “why,” that why seemed to be the catalyst, everything inside of him seemed to revolve around it. The sensation was still too new, completely foreign to him, there had to be some purpose or reason for its existence, but he could not place it in its proper context. He was still performing the tasks that were appointed to him, but that word “why” had a connotation to it that he just couldn’t quite grasp.
Not just why, but “what for,” what was the purpose behind what he was doing. He knew full well his place and position, he was quite aware of the responsibilities that had been set before him, and the performance of them was followed through by him perfectly. There was something else though, and that something else was what he was struggling with.
Lucifer, the Light Bearer, strolled down avenues that he had watched the Creator make, he was still astounded by the incredible sights that he witnessed nearly every moment, those that he had seen since the moment that he came into being. He knew nothing of the time before, only that moment when he realized that “he was,” he existed, and he knew without a doubt the reason for his existence. He was the anointed, covering cherub, he was created perfect, and in that perfection he attended to his appointed tasks. His place was over the throne of the Creator himself, and the joy that he felt in that position was unspeakable. He knew the names of all the angelic hosts that the Creator had made, all were in union to their complete and total devotion to the One called God. He had watched and rejoiced more than once along with the angelic host as the One who sat upon the throne had begun and then completed His six-day undertaking of creation. It was beyond all of their comprehension how He had simply spoke and myriads of worlds and stars appeared, animals on dry land and the sea came into being, and then the grand finale, man, the only thing created with a living and eternal soul, given to him by God, breathing into him life.
As Lucifer continued on his contemplative walk, enjoying all that was within his view, greeting and smiling at the other angels that came across his path, each of them acknowledging in some unspoken way their acceptance of the fact that he held a higher position than them, one of more honor, the thoughts returned, almost unabated now. It was when God had given the man dominion over all that he had created when the Light Bearer had first felt that twinge of “something,” those feelings and thoughts that he was trying so very hard now to decipher. It could best be described as a feeling of discontent, but with what, and for what reason. His thoughts returned to the man, why would God give all His vast creation to the bipedal animal that couldn’t even fly around to enjoy it, much less travel to the far distant galaxies that the Creator had spoken into existence. Why give everything to him but not give him the ability to enjoy it fully, and why was the fruit of that one tree so important to Him.
Of course the angelic host could visit any of these places in all of the creation, even heaven itself held no boundaries for them, save for the throne of God, but there was really nothing vastly different about any of these worlds, only this one, this one that the Creator had called “Earth.” Upon it was the soul of man, and the one that the man had called woman, also with a soul, these two alone had been gifted with all of the creation, and God was pouring His love upon them. Why would He do that, why would He create all of this and then give it to the man, why not give that dominion and power to the angelic host, why make man in the first place. Why not give it to him, was he not created perfect, could he not take care of this creation much better than the man.
Lucifer’s mind rolled this over and over, it made no sense to him, was he not created more beautiful than any of the others in all of creation, did he not hold a position much higher than any of the others in the angelic host, and did not all of them acknowledge this in their own way. Was not he the one that should have been given this great and wonderful gift, wasn’t he better than the man in all of his ways. A new emotion came into his being, and he did not like it, it made him feel “less than,” less worthy than the man, less honorable, second when he should have remained first. He was the covering cherub, his place was over the very throne of God himself, he had looked down upon Him many times, but when that thought came to him, at that moment it took on an entirely new meaning.
He was above God looking down on Him, in a place of honor above Him. The thought stopped him in his tracks, and a new consideration began to formulate within him almost immediately, one he understood finally, the answer to the “why.” He was worthy of more. All that the man had been given should have been his, the host of heaven needed to recognize that he was the one that stood above all of the creation, that he alone was worthy of their praise, that he was the pinnacle of God’s creation. He alone was the most beautiful one in all the creation, and he alone should be set above all others.
He felt the first stirrings of something that he liked, enjoyed more even than his position above the throne, it was self-fulfilling, and gave him a confidence within himself that he had never felt, he knew worth apart from God, he knew pride and began to see himself as greater than all, more than even the One who had created him. He knew at that moment that he could attain to much more than what he had been created for, more than what he had been created to be, nothing, no one had been created better than him.
He raised his head, a new look on his face now, one of intense self determination, and as he stared at the sides of the north he said aloud “I will be like the Most-High.”
