I fall asleep nearly every night reading the Word of God. Is this wrong?
“Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,” (Phil. 3:8)
I have over the course of my life received many certificates, licenses stating that I have achieved a certain sought after goal, even medals in certain fields. None of these are simply handed out, they must be earned and only the most diligent student can earn them.
Many nights I used to fall asleep reading some technical manual or some “how to” book. This is not a letter of conceit, nor one of vainglory, they are simply facts, a short testimony if you will of one who is the recipient of this truth.
“He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.” (John 9:25)
I cannot count the number of times lately I have asked the Lord to forgive me for a wasted life, of time spent searching for the riches of this world, and nearly four decades of it whilst I was saved by His grace. For me, at times, it seems as if I was just born-again yesterday.
“It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” (Lam. 3:22-23)
It is a blessing I pray you are experiencing as well, no matter what age you are, the blessing of the slow but constant death of pride.
I have heard some say that we should be proud of our accomplishments, though with the ability to keep the sin of pride out of them, but I cannot see it, at least not correctly perhaps, for there is the truth of Romans 14:12. “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” And “For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.” (Matt. 16:27)
Is there pride in the wrong sense for those that the Almighty has decided to use for His glory? Can there be a sense of being proud in the knowledge of that joy of service without it being turned into a sin?
“And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend.” (Exo. 33:11a)
Humility and pride are direct opposites, but one must consider, when God calls a man to serve Him for His glory, can that humility keep the pride at bay?
Perhaps there is a different way to say, “proud of our accomplishments” in the Lord, but if there is, it escapes me today, for those truths keep coming into my mind lately, that we will indeed give an account and those who have been profitable will indeed receive rewards, even crowns. This then would require effort on our part, even the one who comes in last place in the race is recognized as one who at least put forth effort.
I enjoy reading the Word of God late at night when the house is quiet and there are no interruptions, save perhaps for one of our cats who has taken to laying on my chest and staring at me from a few inches away. It is late, I am tired, and in all reality, it is a joy to me, not an effort.
Will I be rewarded because of that effort, or lose rewards because I fell asleep?
For me personally, at least in my mind that serves Christ, it makes little difference to me, I do not serve in the hopes of rewards or crowns, in my own way, as best as I can say it, I serve in obedience, and obedience is the way I reveal my love to Him who has called me.
Am I proud to be a Christian, a child of the Most High God, one who is hid in Christ? Yes, I am. Is that the same as pride? No, it is not, because of this.
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)
The key to the death of pride is humility, and that proper humility can only be found in the love that has been revealed to us by the Lord in His Son Jesus Christ.
Being one of His chosen ones is something you can be proud of, if you remember that it is only because of Him.
