I no longer attempt to keep track of the people that I have met that repeat these words, “I always wanted to.” Most generally they are from those who have attained an age that can be counted in multiple decades, and I feel no empathy towards them, they have had plenty of time to have achieved or accomplished what they so vehemently proclaim they wanted to do.
The reasons I have heard for their inability to fulfill these desires would take many pages, and to them are valid, but almost all of them have a foundation in priorities. They will grow older, and die wanting.
If there is one life amongst the lost that seems the most wasted to me, it is the one of unfulfilled desires, for those who give no thought to 1 John 2:16, “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” They have no excuse save their prioritization, or the fear of failure, perhaps even the personal repercussions that may come with that action they “always wanted.” A life of no fulfillment is not life, it is a slow death. “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” (John 15:11)
Therein lies the secondary part, these individuals cannot discern the difference between happiness and joy, their desires are based on emotional responses and pride of accomplishment. A thousand lifetimes are not enough to fulfill all of their desires, and so they prioritize, and the majority of those priorities are of a selfish nature. The Lord does not ask us, He commands us to die to self, (Gal. 2:20) He does not ask us to try to hate the world, He says that if we love it, we are His enemy. (James 4:4)
When those people die in their sins, every hope is gone, there will never be anything else to accomplish, no more dreams, no more thoughts outside of where they will be for all eternity, all hope will be extinguished. Those who have determined to leave this world behind will know pleasures forever more, pleasures without end. They will not seek eternity; we see no good thing in the temporal.
There is a very sad part to this upon some of those who are indeed saved though, for “I always wanted to” can quite easily be translated to “I wish I would have,” and these are words that I believe are also spoken in heaven. You know what the Word of God commanded you to do, but you set different priorities, you knew the Lord had said this and that to you, not just in His Word, but in your heart by the prompting of the Holy Spirit, but you had plans for that day, that year, that life. In heaven my friends you cannot make up for what you did not do here, there are no rewards for good intentions, and I can think of fewer embarrassing, or for lack of a better word, self-saddening moments than to be there that day when all of our gifts, rewards and treasures are cast at the feet of Jesus, (Rev. 4:10) and you have nothing to offer.
“One of these days I’m going to,” “When I have the time,” “When the opportunity presents itself.” And then you die, with nothing. I do not know how the Lord will accept those that He loves into His kingdom who have brought no gift, and I will not presume to expound upon it, but I do believe that there are rewards for some, and not for others. You get one opportunity at this life, you are only on the path as long as you are alive, you have a choice, you can arrive with something in your hand for the Master, or you can arrive prepared to offer excuses.
