I understand that the reason the Almighty sent His Son to die for the sinners of this world was because of love, an incomprehensible love. What I do not understand is why He chose me to be a recipient of His love, grace and mercy. There are some of us that can debate with Paul.
“This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.” (1st Tim. 1:15)
Three years in Arabia contending, debating if you will, law and grace, still doing years later those things he did not want to do, battling fleshly desires, denying self, and failing at times. Thinking that he, or any man of God who came before him or after him, including those today, were more than normal men is foolishness, because the closer the Living God draws us to Himself, the more intense the battle, and the more we begin to wonder why His love would be poured out upon us.
Those old, well-worn sinful thoughts do not just disappear, they can at times be intensified, we no longer watch the battle, we are moved to the front lines of it often, and when we become weary, He does not always immediately offer us rest.
“In your patience possess ye your souls.” (Luke 21:19)
There are those on the front lines today that will die for Him, who will suffer persecutions many of us will never know, and they will do so because they have been blessed to realize the absolute truth that they are loved.
No offense intended my friends, but most of us are just going to feel bad when we sin, when we doubt, when we do not obey as we should.
When you speak to God, whether it be on your knees in your closet, or while you are at your place of employment, driving down the road, whatever or whenever, one thing He expects of us is complete honesty. He already knows the innermost, deepest thoughts of your heart, He expects us to speak of them to Him.
If you are hid in Christ, there are no deep, dark secrets you can keep from Him.
Love opens up, love expresses itself to the object of its love, love speak truth in love, because of love.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Guess what? You still are, and will remain a sinner, either intentionally, inadvertently, or unknowingly until we are glorified. Saved by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ yes, a saint who sins. Remember what Paul said years later,
“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.” (Romans 7:19)
Until you realize the depth of the love that you are loved with, you will never realize the depth of the sin we were saved from. Until you accept that, you will nearly always experience “bad feelings” about yourself, and those feelings, if they persist, will keep you from moving forward in faith.
Do not fight those emotions, do not try to bury them, to deny them, lay them at the feet of your Savior, tell Him the battle is difficult, tell Him you wish they would go away, and then keep moving forward for His glory. It’s called carrying your cross, and again, in no offensive way, if the heaviest part of your cross is nothing more than some bad feelings about yourself, feel blessed.
“Of whom the world was not worthy: they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.” (Heb. 11:38)
The world is not worthy of the least of God’s saints; we know a love that most will never experience. Not if we love Him only, but since we know He loves us, we can keep moving forward on the path set before us.
