My beautiful wife reads from an old Hymnal from the 1800’s for us every morning. After she has finished, I begin to write these letters to you, then, after they are completed, I read for a few minutes usually from one of my books, or in the Psalms.
A good portion of my day is spent working on the Borrowed Truths videos, interspersed with reading from another of my books, along with coming back down these stairs to write again later in the day.
During supper we discuss portions of another of my books that I have highlighted certain portions of, and then after supper, once again my lovely wife reads from a devotional for us. Then I again work on the next video for a while and fall asleep many nights reading my Bible on the coach or the chair.
During the day, whenever possible, I speak to those I meet about our Savior.
So, why do I feel like a hypocrite in my mind so often?
“I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” (Romans 7:25)
My lovely wife is going through a five-year study of the Scriptures, which she will probably finish before that time. She types up these letters and places them on the Borrowed Truths website, goes over in her mind every single day over one hundred memory verses she has hid in her heart, and if you were to meet her, you would understand that she has a heart that reflects the heart of God.
Yet she never feels as if she is doing enough.
“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” (Psalm 119:11)
This may sound like a contradiction in terms, but no one can understand any of what is written here so far unless you understand it. It has nothing to do with a works-based ideology, not towards rewards or accolades from others, it is not for treasures laid up in heaven. No thought has ever entered into our minds that we need to do all this every day in order to “payback” Christ for what He did for us, we are not trying to earn anything, nor do we, if you can understand this as well, do so because we have been commanded to.
It is in our nature to live our lives this way now.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
I know some of you want me to say we live our lives like this now because we love Him who first loved us, and that would be true, but there is something more to this than I can properly put into words. It’s more than because we want to, it’s because it is who we are now.
Like I said, unless you can understand all this, you cannot understand it.
There is effort to what we do, but it doesn’t seem like it. There are great frustrations, especially on my part, but I know they will pass in time. My friends, it would be all but impossible for us to see ourselves living our lives in any other way than how we are living today. It has become normal for us.
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Gal. 2:20)
We are not “super Christians,” we are not what we would consider “closer to God.” Serving Him in the manner we do far surpasses just seeming to be the “right way” to serve Him, it’s like I said, just a normal life for us.
In one sense, I think it’s going to make passing through that final door a little easier for those who understand these truths.
