Borrowed Truths

I Know Who I Am

i know who i am
Borrowed Truths

I Know Who I Am

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” (1st Cor. 13:12)

I know who I am, I am a conceited, self-centered, son of a, as my lovely wife calls them, female dog. I care little for others, it matters not to me whether they live in squalor as drunken junkies or in the highest penthouses with many servants, they mean little to me. They’re going to die, everyone of them, most of them will go to hell, good riddance, they deserve it. “Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?” (Psalm 139:21)

I know who I am, chosen by God Almighty, filled with His Holy Spirit, seeking each day His face that I might serve Him better, hoping that I am pleasing in His eyes, reaching out to all that will listen in the hope that they will fall to their knees and repent, calling on the Lord Jesus Christ for the salvation of their soul, for I cannot bear the thought of even one of them suffering in untold anguish for all eternity.

I am torn my friends, I hate the fools who despise the Living God and so in love and for His glory I reach out to them, I detest with all my being those that are manipulating mankind to prepare them to take the mark and serve our adversary, and so nearly every day, whether it be in person or online, I search for the lost that the innumerable false prophets are deceiving, for those that will be left behind.

If the Most High has shown you who you are, you are blessed more than many, a child of His and a rebellious soul, a hardheaded, stiff-necked selfish person and at the same time a bearer of the light of truth, an ambassador sent into the world that we hate with all our being.

I know who I am, I know both of me quite well, and I battle with the one I hate every day. Sometimes I lose, I get frustrated and curse and swear, I look at some with great disdain, I want them to suffer for their hatred of the One that I love above all others.

“And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15)

Put on your armor, you are going to need it.

But that helmet of salvation does not quench the fire of our old sinful nature, and there are times, many times, that we need to use that sword of the Spirit on ourselves.

I know who I am, and I am trying diligently to die to self, but that old man is a fighter, he will not give up, and he is strong.

“Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” (1st John 4:4) Without the Holy Spirit I would lose this battle, there is no doubt about it, I would go into the world and live as I once did, consequences be damned. Without the Father putting up roadblocks, hindering that part of me that just wants to let go, without His mercy I would dishonor Him in the first moment.

It is as close to insanity that any can express, the sinful nature and its constant barrage of wants, the mind that desires above all else to see the Living God glorified, and the Holy Spirit guiding, prompting, pleading and leading.

“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24)

There is a place of peace within me though, I am blessed to experience it occasionally, one that says keep fighting the good fight, keep running in the race, do not slow down, don’t look back, the prize is ahead and worth every moment of the battle.

When I get to heaven and this hated enemy that is me is finally removed, I will sit back for a moment or two, sigh a sigh of great relief, and say “Finally, true peace.”

Join me there, my friends.

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