“Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” (James 4:4)
I have no problem agreeing with this verse anymore. Perhaps it is the age that the Lord has allowed me to attain, a life that could have been easily ended several times over in the decades of my existence here, His grace has for some reason decided to keep me here on this planet, of which because of my caring and lovely wife I am most grateful, but I am more than ready to go home.
I quite regularly, and honestly only for her sake, ask the Lord to, as I put it, hold me together. I have lived a life that many would either envy or abhor, and it has indeed taken a toll on me. It seems rather selfish to want to attain to 1 Corinthians 15:53, “For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.” only because of physical pain, and so instead I simply ask for the strength to get through this day.
I hate this planet, I hate it because of the curse upon it, but I have the promise of Romans 8:19, “For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.” If it is groaning, I groan along with it.
I hate those that hate the Lord, just as Psalm 139:22 says, but my actions towards them are done in love, for although they are the enemies of the Almighty, I am to love them, and love is always represented best as an action. It seems a dichotomy, but it is in the Scriptures, both to love and hate, and so it is truth.
I hate those in authority over us that not only attempt to compel us to adhere to certain mandates of foolishness, but who make laws that go directly against the will and Word of God. In the country that I live in part of my taxes, which we pay, for we are commanded to adhere to the laws of the nation that we live in, goes to pay for abortions for people who simply do not want to be bothered with the life of a child and the responsibility that entails. I hate that.
I hate false religious organizations that pretend to be Christians, the Romanist, Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses. Yet every opportunity that arises I act in love toward them and attempt to help them see that what they have devoted themselves to is not the Lord Jesus Christ, but to a cult. Many times, I have been the recipient of Galatians 4:16, “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?”
I hate to watch people running headlong into hell.
And in complete fulfillment of the verse, I hate myself. My mind wanders from the Lord, to hold every thought captive for Christ is an impossibility for me. My flesh is at times uncontrollable, it remembers the past with desire, it sees the things of this world with that same desire, it is a constant battle that I am weary to continue in, and so I ask the Lord to hold me together.
Perhaps I have just become a grumpy old man, but I do not think so, I believe my prayers are being answered. I asked to know the truth of Matthew 5:6, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.” and to do so one must be shown unrighteousness, which is evil.
I asked and continually ask for wisdom, and with that comes the knowledge of Ecclesiastes 1:18, “For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” And in that same regard I am being blessed, though most unworthily, to be in the fellowship of the suffering of the Lord Jesus Christ, for He is a man acquainted with grief and sorrow.
I do not blame my lovely wife at times, I would not want to be around me either, it is indeed a difficult path, but I hold firm to the promises that I am not worthy to receive. “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18)
“Perhaps today I will go home” I hear myself say nearly every morning.