Who do you think about more, yourself or Jesus, which one of these two occupies your mind the most? I may be wrong, but I don’t think so when I say that most people who claim Christ as Lord think about themselves more, and I do not mean their day-to-day activities here, but the mistakes, the sins of their past. “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)
We can’t do that, we are forgiven, those sins are no longer remembered by the Lord, but we will not forget them, and they grieve us every time they are recalled. It goes against our nature to forget these incidences, it is almost as if we need to see ourselves as bad people instead of forgiven saints, it is like we are attempting to deride ourselves for our past sins, for any other emotional context we might place them in would bring about the possibility of pride, or at least a smugness that would further berate ourselves. God has forgiven us, Christ paid the penalty on the cross for us, the Holy Spirit prompts us to move forward on the path, but many seem to want to remind themselves of how evil they were, they want, in a sense, a pity party for themselves.
We cannot choose to forget, it is not possible, but we can choose how we will react when these memories come to mind. Satan cannot read our minds, so when these thoughts are brought to our remembrance, it is us and us only who have the choice on how we will view them as time passes, they are ours to do with as we please.
One thing that we must remember is that if we have indeed repented, then they are no longer worthy of any serious contemplation, the one who performed the dastardly deed is gone, never to return, but the most important thing to remember is that, if you have repented, the penalty has been paid, in full.
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” (Prov. 28:13)
Now, if this action, this sinful deed has not been repented of, well then, that is a different story, for then when those memories appear they will be a prompting from the Holy Spirit, and there is a very good possibility that there will be no more growth in your life towards the Lord until repentance is made. It is as if we are attempting to explain the difference between the “good” works done by religious individuals, and works wrought through us by the Holy Spirit, until repentance comes about in a man’s life, the Lord has nothing further to say to that person.
For most though, it is a matter that could fall under the heading of keeping your body under subjection, (1 Cor. 9:27) For it is the mind, better yet, the way our mind interprets who we are today by the deeds against the Lord that we did in our past, and we cannot base who we are today on who we were then. Imagine if Matthew the tax collector had not let go of his past, if Peter continued to weep bitterly (Luke 22:62) until the day of his death, if David tried to lead the people of God in his kingdom with the burden of murder and adultery hanging over his head forever. You have been forgiven by Christ. If you have truly repented, perhaps it is time to forgive yourself, in all humility and gratitude to the Lord Jesus. Perhaps its time to let it go and leave the past where it is.
