“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” (James 1:22)
We toil for the glory of God, yet many times it does not seem enough, as if we could have, should have done more, been more enthusiastic toward the task, more adamant in our desire, concerned more with His glory than our part in it.
And then there are those times that we are blessed to see the fruit of our labors, one brought to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, a building raised to worship Him in where once an empty lot was, and that usefulness begins to bring with it the seeds of pride.
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
It seems like a razor’s edge at times, deeds set before us and accomplished, yet leaving us feeling as if we were not profitable, or tasks accomplished, and seeing some good in ourselves because of ourselves.
While many who have been born-again fight the continuous battle of pride, few can tell you what the inverse of it is, and many spend more time there than in their efforts against their pride. It is not quite despair or a feeling of despondence, it is a feeling of being unprofitable, even when what has been set before us was completed as requested by the Almighty. It is a feeling, for lack of a better word, of being useless, of never doing enough, of never being good enough, and it can in its own way make within us an inability to be used even greater than that sin of pride.
It is, in its own right my friends, the opposite of the hypocrite, it is the one who nearly always considers themselves as less than what they truly are, it is self-defacing not as the Scriptures speak of us who have died to self, but the one who can see no value in themselves even when they know they are following the will of God for their lives.
In the simplest terms, it is either being on one side of that razor’s edge or the other, never being good enough or the pride of being profitable, and we ride that edge every day.
“When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.” (Prov. 11:2)
True, but what arrives when we are in the inverse of that pride, when we willingly submit to His will for our lives, but continue to see ourselves as useless, even when the actions performed by us were in accordance to what our Lord wanted?
What we will be we are not yet, and my friends, remaining on either side of that edge will keep you from becoming what you are to be.
No matter how the Almighty has chosen to use you for His glory it is never so that pride will enter into your heart, but neither is it so that you will despair in the tasks set before you, so that you will feel useless. Yet that is where many reside, believing the only battle in themselves is against pride.
Self-depreciation is not submitting to His will, we know we are not worthy of the calling He has set before us, but we tend to forget that what He has called us to do he will enable us to do.
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Phil. 4:13)
The one filled with pride will seek for more to do so that his pride can increase, and that person will find destruction at his doorstep if he does not repent. But the one on the other side of that razor’s edge will not seek for ways to serve for His glory, for they will never see themselves as useful for His purpose.
Resisting pride must not lead to the inverse of it in this regard, feeling useless can be just as damaging to your growth in the grace and knowledge of the Lord.
Find the balancing point, trust His judgment in all things.
