Two things have occurred in my life recently that have changed me, three in fact. One I have spoken of in the past, the day I got out of my vehicle, and on the side of the road and yelled up at the sky, at the top of my voice in extreme frustration for God to use me. From this has sprung these letters, a path I have never walked before, but I can see as I look back on my life, before and since I was called how this path should have been clear to me. We are a difficult group, we Christians.
One of the other items happened in my soul just a few months ago, and I was not prepared for it, in fact, it came out in my prayer life very unexpectantly, and I will admit, it is still difficult for me to think of at times, much less voice to Him. I asked the Lord God to make me like His Son, to conform me into the image of Jesus Christ. Thirty plus years I have been saved by His grace, and this is not a thought that did not just occur to me, we are told in the Scriptures that we are being transformed into the image of Christ, (2 Cor. 3:18) that we are to exhibit all of His character traits, the attributes of the servant are to reflect those of his Master, but it was not a lite thing for me to do this, I believe it is one of the final steps of dying to self.
All my hopes and dreams for myself, all of those accolades and accomplishments of my past, everything that I have desired to do both today and every one of my tomorrows are to be cast away and forgotten, my life is no longer my own. I have deeded the title of all my hopes and ambitions over to Christ. It was the second of the three most difficult things I have ever done. Most of my life has come easy to me, a blessing from God, what I have set my mind to for the most part I have accomplished, and all of it was a complete waste of time. There were short periods where I was profitable for His kingdom, but they were few and far between, I had a life to live, places to go, things to experience. Those days are gone. My priorities have been modified by God for God, thus is the walk of a willing servant.
To ask Almighty God to make me like His Son is to ask Him to make me His son, an heir to the kingdom of heaven. (Romans 8:17) One does not approach the Creator of all reality in anything less than abject humility, one does not ask this request lightly. It is no small thing to be a born-again believer, it is not a part-time job, or at least it shouldn’t be, I serve a Risen Savior, the only begotten of the Father, and to ask Him to make me into the image of His Son was to deny myself and all that I am. A son should love his Father.
Therein is the third item that is beginning to dramatically change me, and it occurred only a few days ago, another thing that came as a complete shock to me, totally unexpected. I did not call Almighty God my heavenly Father when I was speaking with Him, I simply called Him Father. It stopped me in my tracks, I automatically felt both a closeness to Him I have never experienced before, and at the same time an almost unexpected notion that I did not deserve to call Him by such a title, that it is too personal. I am a man of faith, my salvation is assured because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross for me, but to actually call the Most Holy One by such a term of endearment, such a close, personal name, struck me in my soul. It was as if in the next moment I knew Him to be that, not just my God, not just my heavenly Father, but my Father.
That moment a few days ago changed me in ways that my pen cannot place on paper, it was as if I had been granted permission to do something few people who have ever lived have been blessed to be able to do, to call He who created all things as One most beloved. My friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ, it was as if I was accepted. When I put thought to the Sovereign Lord I see the smallest microbe, I see the furthest galaxy, the expansion of time, the power not only to create all things, but the ability without effort to sustain all things, and He has allowed me to call Him Father.
As the days pass I feel a calm assurance, I know I am loved, I know I will be with Him someday, I know for a fact that there is no greater love for me than that which He has for me. There is a peace and determination that is more than just faith, it is fact, it is unchangeable. I was the one who would not change, who would not submit, who needed to keep a part of me alive. Such a selfish thing to do, to imagine I could do more on my own with my life than what Christ could do through me. There is at least one more thing that I cannot bring myself to do yet, it is far beyond my comprehension in its scope, I cannot call Him my friend yet.
I know Jesus said that “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you,” (John 15:14) but I just can’t seem to do it yet. If the Lord of Sabaoth wants to call me His friend, I can think of few if any higher honors, but until that day that He tells me that I am His friend to my face, I do not feel that it is an honor I can take lightly, when Jesus Christ looks me in the face and tells me that I can call Him my friend I will, with great and flowing tears rolling down my face. I am still dealing with calling His Father my Father at the moment.
