How many of you can empathize with Jeremiah when he said, “I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay.” (Jer. 20:9) And I do not mean just occasionally, but nearly constantly.
How many of you have spent years witnessing to many different people, attempting to help them to see their need for our Savior, and while there has been some fruit, the majority, the greater part in fact, have simply moved away from any desire to be in your presence and gone on with their lives, back into the world that draws their constant attention.
For those of you that the Lord is using, those of you that have been sent out as sheep among the wolves, (Matt. 10:16) there is a verse that is well fitting to our lives here, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) My beautiful wife is one of those people that truly understands what the word “rest” means for her in relation to Matthew 11:28, I have met few people that can give over to the Lord their cares like she does, but it was not always that way. Before she came to Christ she gave herself ulcers from the constant worrying and strife that assailed her, she is a living testimony of the power of Christ.
My burdens are somewhat different, and it is not that I have not given them over to Him, but it is that they encompass so much, or better yet, so many. I can see people that I have known and have met in the place that many more than what we would like to think will be in a hundred years or less, in the flames and hopelessness of hell, screaming and crying out, knowing they will never be heard again. I am torn constantly between a great sadness, a “they deserve it” mentality, for all who will not accept Christ rightfully deserve the punishment they will receive, and the complete frustration of the knowledge that most will never find the narrow path, or even have any desire to even search for it. But that is not what bothers me the most, not one of those things and more that hound me nearly every waking hour can compare to how I feel about those who will not accept the fact that there is a God in heaven who is Sovereign, who is the Creator and Sustainer of all things, (John 1:1-3) and how they do not just take Him lightly, they give no thought whatsoever to the Lord God at all.
To treat the Almighty with disrespect is one thing, to allow selfish pride and self-centeredness to control our lives, to live continuously in pride is to a degree understandable to me, for in these ways I myself have lived, not only before I answered the call to serve, but at times since then. I do not know why He has placed these burdens upon me, save for the work of these letters and the YouTube videos, which may be all I need to know.
If you are serving Christ today more than you did yesterday, if He is the only prize you seek, if your life has no value or meaning unless it is in service to the Lord, then you understand in part, but until the frustration of the knowledge of nearly eight billion people who are not serving or even recognizing the Sovereignty of Almighty God in their lives begins to formulate within you, you will never be able to say with Jeremiah and others who have come before you, “but His word was a burning fire shut up in my bones.”
They have to know, the lost need to know what is waiting for them, what has been prepared for them, that if they die in their sins they are going to spend eternity in the exact same place that Satan himself and every fallen angel will be. I agree with what David said, I find no fault in it, and I do not think the Lord would have allowed it in His word if He did either. “Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.” (Psalm 139:21-22)
I am commanded to love them, and I do, if I did not I would not speak to them, I would not write some of these letters to them, or pray for them when I am so led, but I will be so happy to never have to deal with them ever again someday, that is the day that I will receive my rest.
