“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it.” (Eph. 5:25) Man has been placed in a position of dominance over this planet, he is, in the Spiritual sense, accountable only to God, the woman is, because of the curse, (Gen. 3:16) in desire of her husband, and so the man must be in subjection to Christ, or he is misleading the woman. The love that a man is to have for his wife is of course in part one of an emotional context, the enamored feelings of those first few months, the infatuation, must be replaced with a deep and abiding love, for those two are to become one, an interesting statement in itself since if the man dies before the woman, she is allowed then to re-marry, to become “one” with another.
Such are the words of God, and perhaps in a future letter we will discuss them, for today though, these two are becoming one, and it is the responsibility of the man to ensure this. Beyond the spiritual, emotional and physical well being of the woman is the financial responsibility of the man towards his family, and in this area is where the majority of our topic lies. The average life expectancy of women around the planet is approximately eight to fifteen years longer than that of the man, and that means that the wife may become a widow. Not always, but most generally, the man is the “bread winner” of the household, the one that brings most of the money into the family, finances that are meant for the continuation of life and the needs of those that he has been placed in a position of responsibility over.
Food, clothing, housing, these are the three main elements necessary for his family to exist, and they should always be in the forefront of his thoughts. A way to heat the home may be necessary, electricity when available, but beyond this we begin to walk into the wants of the flesh, television, telephone, entertainment cost, even health insurance, in essence the things of the world that we are constantly told are to be desired by us. A newer vehicle, a bigger house, and vacations are so far down the list they should not even be counted as worthy of our thoughts when set in comparison to the actual needs, but unfortunately they are, and so the average man of God thinks very little of the words “widow” and “orphans” when giving to his own family. Far too many in fact place those things in their own life, the items of the world that bring happiness and a sense of fulfilment to themselves above those that would ensure, at least as much as God determines, the continuing welfare of those that would be left behind when they die. I do not desire to sound like an insurance salesman here, but if you do not have a life insurance policy on yourself, you should be ashamed.
The main reason that men do not make sure this minor deed is accomplished is that it proves to them that they will cease to exist someday, it has very little to do with affordability most of the time. By signing the line at the bottom of the page, you are admitting to yourself that your life will come to an end, but love is not just an emotional state that we experience within us, it is an action. What possible good would it do to have a half-million-dollar life insurance policy for your family if you have burdened them with $450,000 dollars’ worth of debt? That’s right, I said you, for even though your wife and you may have made the decision to purchase that large home, those vehicles, the furniture and all the other wants of life together, you as the man of the house are ultimately responsible to the Lord for those so-called agreed upon actions. (Jer. 17:10) You know full well what Proverbs 22:7 says, “That the debtor is slave to the lender,” but you went ahead and put not only yourself but your family, the ones you have been placed in a position over by God himself, into the house of bondage. Now it is your responsibility to dig your way out of it, and they will be the ones in love that assist you and stand by you as you do.
I do not mean to start sounding like Dave Ramsey here, although I would highly recommend you to begin studying his website if you are not familiar with it, but just how much do you have in your emergency fund, your “rainy day” fund as it were, three months, six months of expenses, or barely enough to buy a few days’ worth of groceries before you have to either sell something or go to the bank to beg, not borrow mind you, but beg for more money. Oh, and by the way, you are not to be in debt in the first place, remember? There are a lot of men out there, God-fearing men, who do not feel like men because they struggle each week to provide for the needs of their family, barring physical infirmities or other extenuating circumstances, just exactly whose fault is that? It’s yours my friend, it is one hundred percent yours. If it was the only job in the area that you could find, then why don’t you move to a different area where your talents that our Lord has blessed you with will earn you more money, and please don’t deceive yourself with “our family and relatives are in this area,” your family is the one living in your house with you, remember, “No man has greater love than this?”
If you do not possess the skills necessary to achieve some form of financial stability, why are you not seeking to learn them, too much time away from your hunting, fishing, man-cave personal, selfish, self-centered hobbies? Might fail, might require you to sacrifice things you want to hold onto? What did that verse say again, oh yes, “as Christ loved the church.” And how did He do that, He died for it, for us. Does that mean that you are to push your wife out of the way when the bus is coming right at her and take the hit, yes. Does that imply that you are to give up everything every day, all the things that matter to you personally, those self-fulfilling items in your life for her, yes. And if you don’t, well, according to the word of God that means that you don’t love her, Christs’ words, not mine, don’t blame the messenger, blame yourself.
Perhaps your one of these guys, and here I will not use the term “man,” who believes that you should just take what you have been given, one that never strives for betterment, take the tiny paycheck, go home, hand it to the wife, and sit around depressed because nobody’s handing you more, you never know, maybe this weeks lottery ticket will be the one, somebodies got to win, well my friend, it sure isn’t going to be you with that type of mentality, poor you, stuck in a dead end job for the rest of your life. No man of God has any right to these types of thoughts, leave them to the brute beast who are fit for destruction. (1 Cor. 5:5) You are a man of God, you have been blessed beyond all measure, and nothing in this letter has been meant to infer that you deserve more, or that you should be wealthy, or that you should get out there and make something of yourself. You are being made into the image of Christ by Almighty god, and Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, you are to be doing this for your wife, and whether we understand it or not, whether we agree with it or not, women find a form of security in the financial arena, and it is your responsibility to ensure that this occurs.
Does this excuse her from cooperating in this endeavor? Of course not, whether or not she believes she can, she is to be a Proverbs 31 woman, she is to respect her husband, and to follow his lead, as long as he is following Christ. Jesus did not roll the stone away from Lazarus’ tomb, (Mark 16:3) your faith has made you whole, (Mark 5:34) this is not that stupid statement that “God helps those that help themselves,” that is blasphemous, but He does expect you to put forth some effort here, to sacrifice yourself daily for your wife, to ensure by His mercies that she does not have to search for the necessities of life when, and if, she becomes a widow. You are the responsible party, you will be held accountable in this area, along with her spiritual and emotional needs. Like it or not, men have been put in charge, so get down on your knees and ask the Lord how to show you how to lead. My guess is He will tell you to open up His Holy Bible and start applying what you have only been reading all these years.