You feel bad, but do you do anything with that emotion?
“Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” (Matt. 7:20)
The conviction of the Holy Spirit arrives in many forms in our lives, the changed life reveals the truth of the one who has truly been born-again, we are not as we once were, yet at times we still sin, although we tend to call it falling into temptation instead.
When we return to the mire, whether it be by an action committed of our own free will, or in the continuation of a thought pattern that we know full well is outside of keeping every thought captive for Christ, the Holy Spirit will convict us, and many times, because our Father in heaven is far beyond merciful to us, that conviction arrives with bad feelings.
“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” (2nd Cor. 13:5)
That bad feeling is not one of impending doom, it is not the fear that is expecting severe chastisement or punishment from our Father, it is the acknowledgement within ourselves that we have forsaken Him, if even for a moment, He who will never forsake us. It is, in our minds, the look you remember from somewhere in your past of one who loved you dearly that you caused pain within, whose heart you damaged.
It is a promise broken.
And I believe you know this well my friends, it hurts worse than any physical pain you may have ever suffered, for the memory of that pain will fade away, this one you will keep for the entirety of your life.
When the Holy Spirit convicts us in this manner there is no one that we can blame but ourselves, we are the one that went astray, we were the prodigal son, and the punishment is almost too much to bear at times, for we honestly with all our mind, soul, heart and strength love the Lord Jesus Christ above all else.
I personally do not know a worse emotion, a worse feeling than knowing I have grieved the Holy Spirit. Our Comforter, our guide through this life, sent by the Lord Jesus Christ by the will of the Father to train us up in the way of righteousness, to reveal His love for us. And in those times we seek self-will, selfish pleasures, the things of this world above His will for us in it, we are reproved in perhaps the most terrible way possible.
He makes us feel bad.
If you have experienced this moment, then, if you have truly been born-again, you know what it means to have your heart broken.
But you know and have experienced what happens when your very soul does what 1st John 1:9 says.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
“Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.” (Psalm 51:4)
That stoney heart, the pieces of it that still reside within us my friends, is further broken and destroyed by a broken and contrite heart.
To harm those you love intentionally, simply out of the spite of the moment, when tempers flare, can in some cases cause even decades of love to be questioned, but here is a truth for you.
“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” (1st Peter 4:8)
Every sin you have or ever will commit has been covered by the blood of Christ, there is no questioning this truth, but we are being sanctified, and being sanctified is more than removing the desires of the things of this world from us, it is more than setting our affections on the things of heaven, it is realizing that bad feeling is a blessing, and that on the other side of repentance is eternal love and joy.
