Through the course of these letters to you, over time, you will be able to discern something of who I am, or better yet, I should say some of my life experiences, the things that the Lord has allowed to come into my life. For each of us over the course of our lives there are literally millions of them, incidents that take us out of the normal daily routine that we have become accustomed to, from taking a different way to work, the death of a loved one, or a life changing experience that alters the very course of our lives. For the latter, think on Moses and the bush that burned but was not consumed, (Exo. 3:2) or Paul on the road to Damascus. (Acts 9) But for the most part many of these are done of our own free will just to break up what we consider to be the repetitive, monotonous repetition of life. Get up in the morning at the same time, perform the same ritual, head off to the same job at the same place, come back home, perform the evening ritual, go to bed, ad infinitum.
Perhaps for those that have been blessed financially with the ability to go on vacation occasionally, the anticipation of the trip will alleviate some of the repetition of sameness, installing craft type items around the yard and in the house in anticipation of the next approaching holiday is one way that some deal with a life that needs to filled with something, anything. For the vast majority of individuals it is the television, hours of it a week, for it transports them to a place they will likely never go, or into the lives of individuals, whether fictional or real, that they can only fantasize about, and so the vast majority of their lives are spent living vicariously through the lives of others. Think on those that follow movie stars or are sports ‘fanatics,’ individual accomplishments are what they value, instant achievements instead of long-term goals.
Herein lies the explanation to a degree of the title of this letter, A Partial Testimony. I have been, and still am in some ways, every person that you just read about, get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, go on vacation, once in a while, come back, repeat. Do you know what I called that? Life. I had no clue what it meant to be alive, to actually live life. “But he that sins against me wrongs his own soul, all they that hate me love death.” (Prov. 8:36)
I have held many positions of employment in my life, and excelled at nearly all of them, by the grace of God, each of them varying from the other, for why would I desire to stay in a position of employment when I have learned nearly all that there is to know about it, and attained a high level of accomplishment in it. Boring. There have been many certificates of accomplishments on my walls, that now all reside in the trash. I filled my life with the new, for sameness was as death to me. I honor the man that has retained the same employment position for the sake of his family, continuing in the daily grind to provide their daily needs, I honor him greatly, for if I would have done the same I would not have lost my first family and gained instead only passing temporal trophies of experience and self-interest.
Therein is where the word testimony comes into play, for you cannot have a testimony unless you have been tested. My own personal test I brought upon myself, and failed miserably in the eyes of God, continuously and in many different avenues, for I sought only my own selfish desires. I have never feared failure, for it is how we learn what does not work, what is right, yet in what was important in living and loving, I failed terribly.
There are three main reasons for the existence of the Borrowed Truths website, first and foremost it is to glorify God in the highest, second is the only one that I can assist you with, to encourage all that read here, and thirdly it exist to convict those whom the Lord has sent to read these humble letters, to alter their paths for Him. Only the Holy Spirit can convict, I will be of no help to you in that area. My short testimony will do no one any good unless you recognize these same type of faults in yourself and pray for the Lord to keep you from them, and you must know that many of these and numerous others were committed since I was saved.
So, what are we to do, how does one become released from what seems to be a life of accomplishments or repetitive tasks that have brought only temporal happiness and fulfillment, a life of nothing but chaff that will be burnt and consumed into useless ashes. (Matt. 3:12) I can only tell you what I have done, what I am doing, and what I continue to do daily, what the Word of God says to do. Pray for wisdom, (James 1:5) pray for a heart that will be able to discern between good and evil, (Heb. 5:14) pray to be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, (Col. 1:9) pray to be Christlike in all that you are. (1st John 2:6) Do not just read these verses and say “Okay, I did it,” These, and these only my friends, unless it is something serious, as it were, are the only prayers I ask for myself, and they are asked on nearly a daily basis, I keep knocking and knocking, for even though, as far as we know, Solomon only asked once, I do not believe I could administer that much of a blessing all at once.
Pray specifically, do not just pray “Lord, help me, change me,” tell Him exactly what you desire, and if the only reason you truly want to receive the answer to your prayers is so that Jesus Christ will be glorified, He will answer your prayers. I would suggest you study, not just read, but diligently study Psalm 37, Proverbs 8, Isaiah 53, and John 17.
One thing that the Lord has shown me in just the last few years is that out of all of His creation, only two things are going to last for all of eternity, people and the Word of God, everything else is going to be done away with or replaced. What else would I spend my time on, what else should any child of God exert any real effort on while they are here. Do not misunderstand me here, do not quit your job, sit in your house and just study the Bible and then go out and talk to people, for soon you will have no house. You have earthly responsibilities, attend to them, but do so with eternity always in your heart, with the question always on your lips of “What would you have me to do, Lord.” Those who do not live for the eternal are of no use to those who are in the temporal. Stop climbing the ladder of earthly accomplishment and start climbing Jacobs ladder. The higher you get, the harder it becomes, and the dangerous, but you are in His hands, and every step you take will be one that matters in eternity.
I mentioned in a previous letter to you that one of the most frightening commitments to our Lord that we can make is to say, “use me,” I am done, I am tired of trying to live my life, don’t just give me options and let me choose, don’t show me what you want and then let me make up my own mind, for I will hesitate and then fail you, Use Me. I prayed these words to Him in all humbleness only four years ago, and I have been saved by His grace for over thirty years. My mind is consumed with Him, and the “old man” (Rom. 6:6) has become a bitter adversary. I do not do ‘small talk’ anymore, anyone that I come in contact with will find that within a few minutes the conversation will turn to the eternal, questions will revolve around their lives so that by the will and knowledge of the Holy Spirit their lives may be just a little brighter, and any way that I can help them with the words of wisdom that the Lord leads me to speak. I do so.
If you pray for wisdom, you will receive wisdom, for it is a promise from the Lord.
You will begin to hear often, in nearly every conversation, as I do, “Your right,” and you will know for a fact that this is not you, this is the Spirit of the Living God speaking to them. When this happens, pride will try to find a foot hold in your life, kill it, kill it immediately. You will begin to stop seeking your own way, and you will seek only for them and the Glory of God, you will be blessed with the ability to show them the paths of truth. You will be set free of them, in an odd way, for these paths that the Lord will show you for them will be their path, as it were, and whether or not they walk in them is not your responsibility, but theirs, for you have done what you were to do, loved them because “he first loved us.” (1st John 4:19)
You will truly begin to see the difference between good and evil, there will no longer be any gray areas, and you will hate the evil, for it is the complete opposite of the one we serve. (Psalm 97:10) The larger sins in your own life will begin to disappear, and even the smallest infraction against our Lord will cause you to confess in earnest, repenting and asking Him to show you even your secret sins. (Psalm 19:12) In the lost the sins you see will be expected, though they will wound you deeper than before, and those in them that profess Christ as Savior you will forgive, yearning to help them see the error of their way. (Prov. 27:6)
The knowledge of the will of God in your life you will seek daily, for it is only by knowing His will that you can accomplish His will, it is that simple. “What is your will for me today, Lord, not my will but thy will be done.” And you will fight yourself every step of the way, because that old man in you, that sinful nature of self whose one ambition is to rebel its maker, cannot be killed, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you pray, it is only when we are glorified in the Kingdom of God that he will be destroyed and buried forever, to be a burden upon us never again.
To put it bluntly, my brothers and sisters in Christ, following Christ is an incredibly difficult task, one that we should desire above all and one we fight against above all for our entire lives, for free will means that, freedom of our own will to chose as we see fit, and “All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned everyone to his own way,” (Isa. 53:6)
To follow Christ is to know suffering, sometimes in the flesh, sometimes in the mind, but however it arrives, we are to treat it as a blessing, (Phil. 1:29) and we are to rejoice in it. (1st Peter 4:13) The things I should do, I don’t, and the things I shouldn’t do, I do. (Rom. 7:19) No truer words can be spoken by anyone that truly wants to die to self, who truly understands that this life is going to be a burden, and that we cannot handle that burden alone.
How much of your life are you willing to give Him, a little, some-what more than half, because I can tell you what He wants, He wants all of it, all the time, and if you understand the Word of God, you understand the price that was paid for you, and the incredible blessings that await, you understand fully that it is your Fathers good pleasure to give you the entire Kingdom, (Luke 12:32) and that it is of no merit of your own, it is solely because of His Grace towards you. How could you not offer all that you are to Him.
As much as is in me, and only by His great mercies toward me, I have left the path of intentional sin, and though I continuously fall, He lifts me up each time, dusts me off, and tells me to go back to work. And that is what I am doing here, for the path He has set me on at this point in my life are these letters to you, and through them I will glorify Him, I will do all that I can to encourage you, and I will pray that the Holy Spirit will convict you to become obedient servants, and I will continue on this path as long as He bids me to.